did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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