I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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