when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
