His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
