So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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