my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
