My brain says no but my pants say off.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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