Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Everyone says I win the strip club
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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