It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I fill condoms, not promises.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
