im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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