Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
