Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just found a bag of teeth...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
