she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
