there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
