I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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