STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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