Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
