You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
