Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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