Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
