It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
