Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
