I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
