it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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