sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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