I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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