Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
