what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
