The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
soo... how was my night?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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