I can't watch pbs sober anymore
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
