Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
