I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
