Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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