no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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