# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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