Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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