Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
