In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
