why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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