I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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