D3 body, D1 cock
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
