It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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