like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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