He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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