So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
