she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
