Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
