She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
