im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
she pinky promised me she was 18
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
These tits shall not be calmed
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
