hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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