All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
