Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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