I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm bleeding and have questions
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
